In my first-ever guest blogger series, I've asked writers to discuss one of the questions found at the end of my book, When Others Shuddered: Eight Women Who Refused to Give Up. Today's question is about Amanda Berry Smith. Thank you to these fellow friends and writers for participating! Enjoy this first response from talented fiction writer and editor, Teryn O'Brien.
Amanda Smith felt completely alone following the death of her baby, Will. At that very moment, God sent a friend to give her needed money. Why are womenās friendships so crucial? How have friends ministered to you in times of need?
Maybe
Iām weird, but I have always seen female friendships as just as essential as a male love interest. In junior high, I
remember how so many girls would easily throw away their friendships or betrayed
girl friends just to be with the guy they wanted. Iāve wondered many times if
they regretted it later or just stabbed other girls in the back during their
climb to marital bliss.
Call
me crazy, or just call me loyal, but when I was in junior high I remember
making a vow that I would never let a
guy get between me and a girl friend. To this day, Iāve never compromised my
deep friendships for a man, even when itās been a struggle to do so. I donāt
have regrets in this area of my life (although I have plenty of regrets, I can
assure you!). A friend is a friend.
Womenās
friendships are important. They are vital to this mess we call life. When I
donāt talk to my friends, I immediately
start feeling an ache in my heart for that deep, abiding fellowship only women
can offer. Women can understand me in ways men never will (no matter how great
men are!). Women offer relational connection I could never quite receive if I
was only focused on a man.
So
far, Iāve been having a rather rough year. I can be honest when I say Iām not
sure how Iāve made it through this year with my faith intact except for the
loyal women I know whoāve prayed for me and supported me in ways only women can
do. I donāt know what I would do without my deep friendships, for friendships
offer a salve to the wounded soul. Friendshipsātrue, deep, loyal
friendshipsāhelp us get through this life when we feel as if, alone, we might
not be able to take any more steps forward.
"Still, when you find a truly loyal, loving friend
who will walk by your side throughout life,
who will walk by your side throughout life,
you know youāve got a blessing."
Just
recently, I hit rock bottom, and I had several women friends call me, give me advice,
offer encouragement, and help fight my spiritual battles through prayer and
love. These women told me, āYou cannot give up. You are going to get through
this. You are a wonderful woman of God, and Heās going to use these pains in
your heart in ways you canāt imagine.ā They offered me a fresh perspective when
I had completely lost it over the last few months.
True
friendship calls for honesty and vulnerability. For both people to feel like
they can share the wounded parts of their souls and still be loved. For both to
feel as if they can share joys and triumphs with each other without jealousy
and comparison. For both to make a commitment to each other that they will be
truth-tellers of love in each otherās life.
False
friendships cease after youāve revealed brokenness or honesty or pain. False
friendships cease when you have happiness and the other is jealous. Over the
past few years, Iāve had a lot of relational hurt in this area, and Iāve
learned that a friendship that isnāt based on unconditional loyalty and love on
both ends just isnāt a friendship worth investing my time and effort into.
Still,
when you find a truly loyal, loving friend who will walk by your side
throughout life (or at least a part of it, for some friendships fade naturally
over time), you know youāve got a blessing. Iāve had conflict with some of my
best friends, where we both had to tell each other some hard things or didnāt
agree with each other. A true friendship grows during conflict. A true
friendship helps us see the world in ways we wouldnāt have before.
I
thank God every day that I have women in my life who are friends for life. We will be calling each other
up, visiting each other, and living life together across the world, until we
all pass from it. This is something I will never take for granted, because to
find friendship like that is a rare thing, worth more than anything in this
life.
Teryn OāBrien works in marketing
with various religious imprints of Penguin Random House. She spends her free
time roaming the mountains and writing a series of novels. She's of Irish
descent, which is probably where she gets her warrior spirit of fighting for
the broken, the hurting, the underdog. Read her blog about Identity at www.terynobrien.com, or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
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