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Showing posts from 2010

The Wonder Years and Junior High Love

Last night I tuned in to HUB television. It was replaying a few of my favorite old sitcoms: The Wonder Years, Family Ties, and Doogie Howser, M.D. My daughter was playing on her computer, but we both became caught up in an episode of The Wonder Years. In it, the two main characters, Kevin Arnold and his friend Paul were plotting on how to get dates for the junior high dance. Kevin, the main character, wanted a date with the most popular girl in school. Instead he settled for a "friend" date with his cute and smart lab partner from science class. While he really was having a great time with his lab partner Linda, she just did not make his heart beat quicker. He says sadly at the end of the episode, "That was the first time I broke someone's heart." Their conversations were poignant and reminded me of my own junior high years. The funny thing is that my daughter said they sounded "exactly like" her friends.I guess the complex relationships of boys

Why Facebook Might Be Good for Tweens...

Among parents, social networking sites have a bad name. Parents fear that teens will be posting promiscuous photos of themselves or instant messaging inappropriate comments without parental supervision. And, I suppose, some are. But I also think that Facebook offers opportunities that are very helpful to early teens who are trying to establish personal identity. Tweens are those stuck in the middle between childhood and adulthood. They are too old for Santa and too young to drive. They both love and disdain their parents. They might still cuddle stuffed animals, even while trying on eyeliner. Tweens get themselves into trouble with these stretching moments. Some begin swearing excessively – trying to show that they are older, more mature, not just a kid. They get more heavily invested in their peer group than ever before. They step up school activities and spend time alone, in their rooms, on the computer. Emotionally, tweens are needy. They are faced with the insecurities of ch

Yogi Bear and His Cautious Sidekick

Yogi Bear and Bugs Bunny have something in common. They are both cartoon characters, of course. But, they also both have a knack for getting themselves in trouble and coming out unscathed. In December, a full feature will appear telling the story of Yogi Bear. The movie poster instantly brought back memories of Saturday morning cartoons featuring the loveable Yogi Bear roaming the campgrounds in search of delicious picnic baskets. My family camped at Jellystone Parks as well – distinguished by Yogi’s funny face blown up into huge billboard signs. Everybody loved Yogi – even though he was up to no good. The same was true of Bugs Bunny. In very similar cartoons, the crazy rabbit would take daring risks and somehow always manage to escape trouble. Things are always exploding on him – but he never dies. Fortunately, both Yogi and Bugs had side kicks who loved them and looked out for them. Yogi had Boo Boo – his childlike bear companion. Boo Boo Bear is not Yogi’s son, although he is

Is Texting Trouble for Teens?

A recent study said that teens who “hyper-text” may be more at risk for problems with sex, alcohol, and drugs. By “hyper-text” they mean teens that text more than 120 times a day. Knowing some of the teens that I do – that number does not seem out of reach. I am sure this news worries some parents, particularly those whose teens have the cell phone in hand during almost every humanly possible activity. I’ve seen teens texting while talking to another person. They text in class. They text on the bus. They text while doing homework. Some text while driving. Communicating through texting has become as natural to them as conversing – and far more convenient. The study was performed at 20 public high schools in the Cleveland area. More than four thousand teens participated in a confidential survey. Why is it a cause for concern? 1) Parents do not know how much their teens are texting. Recently a friend of ours said she received a print out of her 16-year-old daughter’s cell phone

Movies Worth Watching With Your Middle School Kids

I'm a movie buff. And, a new tradition in our family is movie night. We love to put a movie in the DVD (or, yes, the VHS player), pop some popcorn, and settle down to watch. My husband and I have enjoyed introducing some of our favorite films to our daughter. This allows us to have a shared culture - things that we reference that she now gets as well. Now that she is getting a bit older, she is able to appreciate and handle movies that we all enjoy. Here are a few we have enjoyed sharing: 1) THE PRINCESS BRIDE - This live-action film is witty and funny and timeless. The dialogue has great quotes that you and your kids will repeat to one another. It will even work with younger children as there is enough action to keep them entertained. And - it spans both boys and girls. There is love and romance and action and humor. 2) WHAT ABOUT BOB? - This is an 80s comedy starring Richard Dreyfus and Bill Murray. Bill Murray plays a psychiatric patient who suffers from extreme anxiety.

Pretty in Pink: Color and Gender

Okay - I have a question and maybe not an answer. In the past two days, two different media outlets made me think about the relationship between color and gender...specifically the color pink. On one of my favorite train-wreck shows, Wife Swap , I watched women from two radically different homes. One came from a hippie, creative, loosey-goosey home where the dad made money as a clown and the two young boys did pretty much whatever they wanted. The oldest boy - probably about 9 - had hair down to his waist and loved the color pink. In fact, he loved it so much that he always dressed in pink and painted his room hot pink. The other mom was from a football family in Texas. Her sons breathed football and believed that all cleaning and cooking was women's work. The results were not surprising. The football mom was horrified by pink boy and insisted that he cut his hair and paint his room a "normal" boy color: blue or green. This little scrawny 9-year-old stood firm. He w

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler Comes to Life

This woman, who recently won a Chicago contest, is living out my fantasy. She gets to stay for a month in the city's Museum of Science and Industry. She will live there, sleep there, and explore the exhibits night and day. http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/Chicagoan-Wins-Monthlong-Stay-at-Chicago-Museum-of-science-and-industry-104438434.html Why am I jealous? Because, when I was in middle school, I read the wonderful book From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler . If you haven't read this book - or if your child hasn't - pick up a copy. It is one of my favorite stories of childhood adventure. A brother and sister run away from home and hide out at the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art. They survive by getting coins from the fountain and hiding perched on top of toilets to avoid security guards. Such fun! While this woman might not have the same thrill of escaping - she certainly gets close!

Hoarders and My Heart

I couldn’t turn the television off the other night. I had stumbled on the series, aired by A&ETV, that is focused on compulsive hoarding. Now I consider myself somewhat of a pack rat, but according to a newspaper estimate there are as many as six million compulsive hoarders. Compulsive hoarders are people who can’t stop accumulating and storing possessions. In this particular episode, there were two women who were threatened with eviction if they did not clean up their living spaces. Their homes were so filled by possessions that they had only very narrow passageways through mounds and mounds of boxes, clothing, and even rotting food. The result was an astounding mess that towered over them in a menacing way. One woman was desperately ashamed and saddened by her situation. She expressed sorrow that her life had gotten to such a state and cried out to Jesus for help. Her friends, relatives, and a professional counselor were called in to help remedy the situation. She seemed eag

Farmville, Faith, and Fallen Sheep

On the morning news, I heard that McDonald’s started a new promotional game targeted to the reported millions of Americans who are playing the Facebook game FarmVille. The press release says, "Our mission is to connect the world through games by offering consumers meaningful experiences that enhance their game play. Tens of millions of people play FarmVille daily and this unique campaign with McDonald's . . . further strengthens our commitment to delivering high quality in-game brand experiences." Now, I must stop here and admit something. I was one of those millions. I once owned a farm on FarmVille. It started innocently enough. I was checking Facebook, and an update appeared on my wall. One of my friends had just expanded his farm. “What is that?” my daughter asked. “I don’t know,” I said. Just a game some people play where you own a virtual farm. “I want a farm,” she said. “Do it!” We made the fatal click. It started with a little patc

Extravagant Birthdays and Extreme Poverty

This week, we will celebrate my daughter's 13th birthday. It is so hard to realize that this little baby we once held is now going to be a teenager. We will also celebrate our other "daughter's" birthday on the same day. I have never met her. Noelia lives in the Dominican Republic. Several years ago, while anticipating Sabrina's birthday, we started supporting Noelia each month through the ministry of World Vision. This blog, that I originally wrote to air on Moody Radio, explains why: When Tom Cruise and his wife Katie celebrated their daughter’s 2nd birthday, they spent a reported $100 thousand to commemorate her special day. $45 thousand in food; $17 thousand in fresh flowers and one thousand butterflies to fly around their daughter’s head. While this celebrity style bash may make seem over-the-top extravagant, I have noticed that many parents like myself feel an increasing amount of pressure to celebrate our children’s birthdays wit

Skateboards, Seventh Grade Boys, and Community

I was waiting in the church hall to pick up my daughter from her second youth group meeting at Faith Church in Dyer, Indiana. After songs and a lesson on Christian community, the kids had been divided into small groups and were scattered throughout the church building to get better acquainted and to discuss the lesson. This group of six boys were the first to finish "sharing", and I heard them coming before I saw them. They crashed into the main hall, shoving and pushing into one another. They ranged in height from three to five feet, all wearing hoodies marked with Abercrombie or Aeropostale. They carried skateboards and basketballs. Their hair was shaggy - one taller boy sported a white-boy's afro nearly shrouding his pimply face. A short dark haired boy brought up the end of the group. He looked stressed, his worried eyes were darting back and forth. "Can I use your phone?" he asked. I pointed him to the leader who handed him a cell p

Flipping for FLIPPED

Rob Reiner has long been one of my favorite directors. He is known for all sorts of wonderful, sentimental movies, like Sleepless in Seattle , The Princess Bride and Stand By Me . My husband swears that Stand By Me is an accurate portrayal of the friendship of young boys, complete with swearing and blood promises and tree houses. I recently showed The Princess Bride to my daughter, and we both enjoyed the sweet sentiment and hilarious, witty dialogue. Reiner's latest movie, Flipped , held that same sort of nostalgic attraction for me. The setting of the late 50s, early 60s, brought me back to my own childhood and the fears and struggles I had with growing up and relating to boys. Flipped is the story of a young boy and girl who meet when they are in 2nd grade and attend school together through junior high. When they first meet, the girl falls immediately for the young boy – there is something about his eyes, she says with a swoony expression on her face

Why We Need Each Other!

This year, my daughter will have her first real youth group experience. She is not much of a joiner, neither am I. Perhaps I have encouraged her in this independent direction; we both tend to go it alone. Yet - as a mom and a believer - I know that's probably not wise....hence the youth group. I am still friends with some of the men and women who "youth-grouped" with me. We have grown older, are married, have kids of our own, yet we fondly remember those days of Capture the Flag, guitar playing, four-square, pizza, and prayers. I highly recommend it... Here is an article from an online magazine that I contribute to on the value of our church communities: http://www.catapultmagazine.com/let-s-get-together-8/article/birds-of-a-feather

National Junior Stress Society

At a recent school open house, my daughter's teacher informed our group of parents, that this year our kids would be eligible for membership in the national junior honor society. To a group of parents of over-achievers (thus, we are most likely over-achievers ourselves), this caught our attention. She stressed that grades alone would not guarantee our childrens' membership in this society. They would also be required to participate in two in-school and two out-of-school activities in order to qualify. Immediately, our hands shot up. What could they do? How could we make sure our children were deemed worthy by the NJHS? This worried me. My daughter already is stressed by school. She finds the workload and expectations of the school's advanced merit program difficult enough. She is one of those kids who puts unnecessary stress upon herself. As much as we tell her to relax, to not worry, to just do her best, she feels a personal pressure to succeed, to be deemed worthy.

Bittersweet Honesty About Life and Such

Recently, I received a review copy of Shauna Niequist's soon-to-be released memoir/blog style book - Bittersweet . I loved both the topic (thoughts on change, grace, and learning the hard way) and the cover photo with its crumbly chocolate cookie. While this is a bit off topic, I am including a review for my blog readers, many of you in your 20s and early 30s, a few who are moms, and all of us women who have experienced the rocky bittersweet moments of life that Shauna writes of in her book. Shauna's writing makes you feel like you have joined an inner circle of really cool 20-something girlfriends, the type of friends who are at different stages of single, married, and mom-life, yet still squeeze in time for blogging, freestyle impromptu Italian dinners, and long talks over chai tea. Her book is equal part reflection, honesty, advice, and food. She made me hungry, not just for the bounty of farmer's markets, but also for those types of friends who can linger over coffee

Charlie's Angels and Brave Women

When I was in junior high, all of my girlfriends wanted to look like Farrah Fawcett-Majors, or at least copy her blonde shag hairstyle. Her tragic death after a long battle against cancer made me reflect on my school-girl admiration of the tv star. Farrah Fawcett played Jill Munroe in the 1970s television show Charlie’s Angels. Her character was one of a trio of female detectives – young adult women who were smart and strong and brave as well as beautiful. They could drive fast cars, solve complex crimes and outrun men. They didn’t let fear or villains stop them. Although I was definitely much more fearful of danger, I admired those women. I was also a fan of the Bionic Woman played by actress Lindsay Wagner. Her character, Jaime Sommers, was noted for her amplified hearing, a greatly strengthened right arm, and the ability to run faster than a speeding car. She also happened to share my first name. While these two shows certainly did not have a profound influenc

Making Music with Our Kids

When I was about eight years old, I started taking piano lessons with Mrs. Van Den Bosch. I don't remember too much about how she looked. I do remember that she made me sit up very straight, curve my fingers like an egg was resting beneath them, and gave me gold stars if I did well. Mrs. V was psychic. She knew when I did not practice. Like other students, I sometimes thought that the piano playing I did at the lesson itself would suffice. She could tell, and my chart had shameful glaring empty spots where those cherished gold stars should have been. The funny thing about my piano lessons was that my dad was an excellent piano teacher. He just couldn't teach us kids. We would whine, refuse to cooperate, or get hurt feelings when he tried to correct us. The same thing has happened with my daughter. For the past four or five years I tried to teach her piano. I'd get out my beginner book and eagerly show her Middle C. She would be bored and frus

The Rite of Passage: Girls and Teen Magazines

There is a scene in the movie Aquamarine where two teen-age best friends are trying to teach a mermaid how to interact with boys. “Here is our Bible,” they proclaim, laying a stack of magazines on her lap. “Yes,” says the other girl, in a hushed reverent tone. “ Seventeen magazine.” The girls explain that this glossy packet of paper will tell the other-worldly creature everything she needs to know about how to dress, how to do her make-up and (most importantly) how to get a boy. The top teen magazines now are Cosmo Girl, Seventeen , and Teen Vogue . A recent online issue of Seventeen teases with the following provocative topics: • How Should You Do Your Makeup for School? • Is Your Summer Love Just a Fling? • How Should You Update Your Fashion Look for Fall? • What Will You Be Known for in High School? I have heard many critics of these magazines, myself included, say that the publications put too much of an emphasis on things like outward appearances and boys. I a

"Pine Trail Camp" - How Summer Camp Changed My Fifth Grade Life

I am adding a link to my summer memoir essay that is featured in this issue of Catapult online magazine. The theme is "Summer Days." I hope you check out this great source for creativity and thinking about Christianity and life. http://www.catapultmagazine.com/summer-days/feature/pine-trail-camp

Media Girl Hits the Trail

Last week we went camping in Door County, Wisconsin. While the campground does have very sluggish wi-fi access at the main station, it is a bit harder for us to be electronically entertained. The small 12-inch tv we have only gets one channel on a good day. So our evenings are filled with staring at a campfire instead of cable. Being a brave mother, I decided to drag my 12-year-old along on a hike in the Peninsula State Park. My husband and I love the scenic views and woodsy, rocky landscape. We had explored these trails a bit as a couple, but never with my daughter. Now I must admit that neither my daughter nor I are athletic types. Our favorite Door County outings usually involve shopping for clothes or fudge. But, it was a gorgeous day, and we decided (with a bit of pushing from Milt) to get outside and enjoy the beauty of the northern woods. We hiked two trails: The Minnehaha Trail – a .5 mile easy walking beachside stroll – and the harder 2-mile Eagle Trail

Webkins and Neopets: How Can Parents Limit Computer Time?

They seem harmless. A fluffy pink rabbit and a spotted plush cow. If you are a parent of anyone under the age of ten, you know about Webkins . These adorable creatures - hundreds of them - come with a printed tag and code that unlocks a computer world designed just for kids. Each time they buy a physical plush toy, the code unlocks a virtual pet. The web-site - some of it educational and much of it just for fun - teaches kids about saving and buying and caring for a pet. It also creates a desire for more pets and more points - thus more computer time. When my daughter moved past Webkins - she moved into Neopets (with a few other sites in between). Neopets is a larger site - also with accompanying real-life collectible items. On N eopets , you own one to four virtual pets that you need to feed and care for. The site is filled with games and battles and strategy. It has a chat option for those over thirteen. My daughter was instantly hooked. She loves Neopets . We do not b

TV Shows You Can Watch With Your Kids

When Sabrina was little, there were some shows that she loved - and I hated. Some of them made me want to poke my eyes out. Barney - for example - somehow charms every child and horrifies every parent. Even worse for me were the Teletubbies. Dipsy and Yoo-hoo - or whatever their names were - were spooky brightly colored aliens who bounced across a creepily deserted landscape with a baby peering out of a giant sun. Of course, my daughter loved them. She even had little creepy tubbie dolls. My husband also mentioned how much we hated The Big Comfy Couch and Bananas in Pajamas. While I enjoyed the cartoon Spongebob Square Pants - I had to be sitting down and watching it. If it was on in the background, the voices made me want to climb the walls. But there are some shows we have both enjoyed. I love when we find tv shows we can watch together. Here's my list. Add yours! 1) Project Runway - We both enjoy the fashion creating. We like the odd characters and the mentoring of Tim Gunn.

Miley's Wild Ride

Some of my more conservative friends have been posting grave concerns about Miley Cyrus's new dance video  "I Can't Be Tamed" which shows the tween star in a black feathered bondage looking outfit, dancing in a cage. The MTV style video is filled with gyrating dancers and slick moves that push the Disney singer far beyond her 17 years. The conservative blog Culture and Media Institute wrote a piece titled "The Miley Cyrus Efffect" - the author notes, "Cyrus’ new music video, “Can’t Be Tamed,” has already received over 5 million hits on YouTube and featured Cyrus in a tight one piece leotard, dancing in a cage along with others similarly dressed. Parts of the dance are suggestive and sexual." The media - which is normally noted as being open to a more liberal viewpoint - has reacted to Cyrus's new look as well. The Culture and Media Institue continues: "Even the media has noticed Cyrus’ inappropriate dancing. She is set to perform on t

Bedtime Stories

When my daughter was little, I read to her every night. We read Junie B. Jones, Charlotte’s Web, Lemony Snickett, The Chronicles of Narnia. I loved the stories. They made us laugh and wonder and sigh and sometimes shed a tear. But as much as I loved these books - I loved the time with my daughter the best. Some nights I was almost too tired to do it. But it became a tradition, so I’d squish onto her bed – she’d snuggle in – and we’d read and read and read. Now she reads on her own – sigh. Sometimes we read the same books – but not as a nightly ritual. We enjoyed the Harry Potter series together –but she sped by me and was rereading while I was still finishing the first go round. So it is particularly sweet that I am reading a story with her now: The Tale of Desperaux by Kate DiCamillo. I heard Kate speak at a recent writer’s conference and found her completely charming. I decided to buy this book and try for one last reading ritual with Sabrina. Last night, as she leaned

Litter

I was walking in downtown Chicago. There are these little plots of grass that help soften the cement world that is the city. In one of these plots there were tiny sprouting bits of grass seed - trying valiently to make their spring appearance. On top of the seeds were crumpled pieces of paper, an empty water bottle, a discarded cigarette. A man was working with a pointed stick - clearing the litter off of the struggling grass. There was a trash can just four feet away. Why do people throw litter on this little bit of growing grass when they could so easily discard it in the right place? Don't they know that they will kill it? I was thankful for the litter clean-up man. Because I have kids and media on my mind, I couldn't help but compare. Aren't our kids a little like those struggling grass seeds? They are trying to grow and flourish, trying to establish who they are and what they will become. The media can bring messages that are good and challenging and nourishing

Cool Girls Books

I was just at the Calvin Festival of Faith and Writing. I had the chance to hear a lot of writers talk about their work - why they got into writing - what motivates them and challenges them - what they are afraid of and why they do it even when it's hard. One of the writers I heard was a young woman named Jenny Han. She writes young adult fiction. I bought a copy of her book Shug for my daughter. Jenny is much younger than I am and already has three published books with more on the way (I must admit I am a bit jealous). At this session, I learned (from an author's perspective some of the challenges these authors face when writing for our kids. 1) The vampire, dragon, fairy trend is all-consuming. Not all of the authors want to write about vampires or dragons, but they feel the pressure. 2) They are often reluctant to write about faith - not because they don't have personal views about God and religion, but because publishers or booksellers are afraid it won't sell.